Pregnancy Scares

I feel pregnant, like pretty pregnant.
I know all my past English teachers are just reading this now thinking "why the fuck do I bother", but seriously that's how the hell I'm feeling at this moment....let me explain.
I know this might sound promiscuous so please don't judge me, instead think of all the other loose girls like Rihanna who makes songs about how she likes the smell of sex.

I just broke up with my boyfriend, Aaron, around late February-Early March...that's when Video Vixen came out again. You see, I have (in a way) DID/Multiple Personality Disorder (not really) and I have different personalities. There's Demi-that's the white spoiled bitch that points her nose at everyone and talks "liikke thiss", there's Macy whose pretty  down to earth- the girl you want to take to your mothers home as long as she leaves her other personality Starlette home, Starlette is Bonqui-qui/Shaniqua and any other loud ghetto bitch you can imagine. She don't play. Finally there's Video Vixen, she's a slut.
Anyways (I get off topic A LOT), to make story short I have had sex with two guys this month. Fernandez who I've been shamelessly desiring and flirting with for about a year now and Keddrick...my crazy ass ex who...well that's another blog for another time.
Well knowing my body (sorry if you're a guy and have to read this) haven't had my period yet, so of course I'm thinking this is another pregnancy scare (for the record I have now had three pregnancy scares >.<) this of course would not happened if I just take my damn pills....that's another blog story though.
Here's the signs of pregnancy:
feeling sick in the morning
fatigue
not having your period
and of course...weight gain.

Well my dumb ass didn't think about how long it takes to gain weight and pressed the panic button. But here's the truth:
The college trip I went on, I ate straight fast-food joints for those seven days.
My lunch consist of fried rice, McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, Chipotle and any other fast food joint around the southeast area.
I have been eating three times what I usually eat because I am bored...no pommie practice, no exercise simple as that.

So in conclusion, I am not pregnant (thank god), I'm just becoming fat whore.

Looking for the fine brother who can buy me a McDouble and Medium  Fry,
Shaina